The party travels quite a bit in this session, ranging from the Gloaming Wood to Ragged Hollow and into the Bleak Mountains. During their travels, they have a number of encounters. They spend some time talking to magical animals. Markus sticks his hands somewhere that he probably shouldn’t. Provide fruit to a wizard. Encounter an ice storm. Dieter spies his own doom. Share some soup with a new friend and meet a pig. And Markus learns that Bush will not take kindly to the thief stealing from Dieter. Oh, and somehow, Markus continues to push the game into an NC-17 rating with many face palms and slow shaking of heads from the other players…drugs, sex, and violence ensue. All that below the break.
Everyone was in attendance. There will, obviously, be spoilers for Nightmare Over Ragged Hollow from The Merry Mushmen along with our mangling of this very fine adventure. My GM comments, as always, are in italics.
79th of Summer
- The group finishes up their conversation with Doya, the giant albino beaver. She will give them the potion of growth that Radomir had mentioned if the group will bring her an ivory pipe that she once saw Olias (the mad trapper) smoking.
- Doya will think about trading the group Biggus Stickus as well. She did find it at the bottom of her lake a few years after one of Radomir’s visits…finders keepers. Markus tried to explain how he agrees with that attitude but only convinced everyone, including Doya, to keep a closer eye on their belongings when he is around.
- The group had to camp in the Gloaming Wood that night.
- During Markus’ watch, he makes out some faint call and response singing coming closer. He wakes others and then sneaks off to hide behind a tree along the nearby path.
- Four goblins approach, visible in the moonlight filtering through the trees. Two in front and two in back of a cart, pulling and pushing respectively. They are the source of the song and are clearly making it up as they go. Oddly, each pair sings in perfect unison despite the spontaneous nature of the song.
- Markus creeps just a bit closer and the wagon, covered by a tarp or blanket, is just in his reach.
- He slowly slips his hand under the covering and grabs the first thing that he can. It is cylindrical and hard and resists being tugged. Markus tugs harder and that is met with some giggles.
- A young goblin slips out and into the woods next to Markus. He is probably a young adolescent and is named Angel, as Markus learns a bit later. Angel was wearing a copper wristband and this is what Markus had grabbed. He immediately offers to sell some drugs to Markus. (This was a totally random encounter rolled on some random table I found online about things to find in a goblin market…actually it was for a GROUP of teenage goblin drug dealers, but I dropped it too just one.)
- The wagon continued on down the path.
- Markus inquires as to what drugs might be available and Angel says he’s got pretty much everything! When asked what he is looking for, Markus says (and I pretty much quote), “Something to make me a big, strong, virile man!”
- (In my defense, I’ve been watching Hazbin Hotel recently. This combined with Markus being portrayed as an over-sexualized “man” immediately made the character Angel Dust jump to mind.)
- Angel takes that as a proposition and offers to engage in sexual activity. This is just as the rest of the group is making their way over.
- Angel quickly accuses Markus of assaulting and molesting him…although in true goblin fashion (as we’ve established so far) he cannot keep his story straight.
- The rest of the group sends Angel on his way and chastise Markus (yet again) for his behavior.
- He slowly slips his hand under the covering and grabs the first thing that he can. It is cylindrical and hard and resists being tugged. Markus tugs harder and that is met with some giggles.
- The rest of the night passes without further interruption or interesting happenings.
- During Markus’ watch, he makes out some faint call and response singing coming closer. He wakes others and then sneaks off to hide behind a tree along the nearby path.
80th of Summer
- In the morning, the group continues to head back to Ragged Hollow.
- They pass by Sunny Island on the way. A plum, a peach, and a pear are picked…each by a different character. This are for Radomir as he had requested one of each previously.
- They also briefly speak with Nazata. She shares that her anniversary with the no-good Natazo is the 64th of Summer.
- The catfish also shares her obvious disdain of Markus and his virility before reminding him of his agreement and punishment should he not fulfill his end of it.
- Later in the day, they encounter Kröte again. He’s flipped over on his shell yet again. More scritches are provided.
- Kröte fetches a belt from within his shell and gives it to Dieter…after he learns a bit about what the group has been up to. The tortoise shares that it is a magical chastity belt to be used on Markus as needed. (Maybe now we can get back to R-rated session.)
- They pass by Sunny Island on the way. A plum, a peach, and a pear are picked…each by a different character. This are for Radomir as he had requested one of each previously.
- Arriving in Ragged Hollow, the group visits Radomir and gives him the fruit from Sunny Island. He thanks them and offers a small favor for the future in return.
- The group retires for the night.
81st of Summer
- The group heads into the Bleak Mountains. They eschew the easier path to stay closer to the slopes in the hopes that they will avoid being spotted by the harpies from their prior foray here.
- A brief and unnatural ice storm forces them to seek shelter in a small cave.
- Later, the group spies a black goat up on one of the peaks. It has deep black fur and a third eye of fire that floats between its horns. It is, as the locals realize, the Black Goat of Doom! Stories say that those he spot it are doomed to a horrible death!
- The goat bleats and that is all that most of the group hear. Dieter, however, hears it say, “Death is waiting for you.”
- The group continues until they reach Olias’ hut. It is pretty crude, built against a stone face of a slope, with a small shelter and muddy spot. A rather large pig is wallowing in the mud. Dieter greets the pig and everyone approaches the hut.
- As they approach, a voice can be heard from inside but stops. Then the same voice asks, “Are guests or ghosts?” The group answers guests and are invited inside for some bear stew.
- Olias is within. Gaunt and dirty, he asks all to sit near the campfire and starts to ladle out stew. It smells good. He chatters on about adding mushrooms…mushrooms will make it taste even better. The hut has various crates and piles of items scattered about. A mangy bedroll to one side. Possibly of most interest is a stout wooden door built into the stone that the hut abuts. It has three padlocks on it.
- Everyone enjoys the stew. Markus has two bowls.
- The stew makes everyone feel quite sleepy. Markus passes out completely.
- Olias rises with a sharp knife saying, “Guests never leave.”
- The group just escapes with their lives…and an unconscious Markus.
- They stumble about the mountains until finding a small cave in which to shelter. All collapse and join Markus in oblivion.
- Markus wakes first. It is dark and he has no idea where they are.
- He checks on Dieter and it appears that Dieter is dead. He removes Dieter’s belt and then tries to remove armor and other gear.
- Bushy (is that what we’re calling the bush?) flings seeds or buds at Markus and scratches at him with branches when he gets close to Dieter. It is clear that Bushy will not let Markus “loot” his friend.
- The others eventually awake. Dieter wakes just having had a dream of a goat’s bleating suddenly stopping. (I know that this is about; the players don’t.)
- The group rests for the remainder of the night.
82nd of Summer
- The group heads back to Olias’ hut. They hide nearby until the trapper leaves. Olias gives the pig, Funderbark, a hunk of meat on the way out.
- A few minutes later, the group heads into the hut…giving Funderbark some more meat.
- They search the place for the ivory pipe. Markus is breaking and throwing things about in the process, intending to make it quite clear that the place was ransacked.
- The pipe is not found. Nor is anything of any real value. Unfortunately, during the ransacking, Markus tossed a ceramic pot to the floor. It shattered and, in the process, a key was broken as well. It certainly looks like it could have (past tense) fit in the padlocks.
- Dieter takes two iron spikes and forces each of the padlocks open with his simple brute strength.
- As the door is opened, some lights flare to life beyond. These illuminate a small worked chamber. Various bodies are in poses scattered about.
- Dieter takes two iron spikes and forces each of the padlocks open with his simple brute strength.
- The pipe is not found. Nor is anything of any real value. Unfortunately, during the ransacking, Markus tossed a ceramic pot to the floor. It shattered and, in the process, a key was broken as well. It certainly looks like it could have (past tense) fit in the padlocks.
- They search the place for the ivory pipe. Markus is breaking and throwing things about in the process, intending to make it quite clear that the place was ransacked.
- A few minutes later, the group heads into the hut…giving Funderbark some more meat.
And that is where we ended the session.
Markus, Markus, Markus…such a naughty young man. How long will it be before the belt that Kröte provided gets slapped around his waist? It is just a belt so I wonder how it will become a chastity belt…clearly magic of some sort, right? I’m guessing we find out in one or maybe two sessions…after Markus completes his “quest” to fertilize Nazata’s eggs. They can’t really do it before then or they condemn Markus to horribly painful death if Nazata is to be believed. Dieter, Liesl, and Marlena wouldn’t do that, would they?!?
